Getting back into writing


I waited for this day to start my personal blog again, because 8 years ago I started blogging on 1st January 2011. That was one of the wonderful days of my life. I love this date. I blogged for a few years and then I bought a custom domain, moved all the content to that domain. Thought to make it much better and in the process I invested a lot of time for my personal blog. And I used to feel the urge to update my blog. As I was struggling hard to make a good career for myself, I felt like my blog is distracting me at one point of time. I decided to delete the blog for some time so that I would get plenty of time to focus on my career. I took a backup of the blog and concentrated on other things. And then I felt like not having a personal blog is also a good thing. After a few months, while decluttering my laptop, I accidentally deleted the backup. I didn’t even realize it until recently. I searched for it like a crazy person and finally accepted that it is indeed gone. I think we need to understand that loss is an inevitable part of life.
At one time, I thought to never start blogging again, because of the fear of being judged, and also to avoid the vulnerability of sharing personal stories. But when I lost the backup of my old posts, I felt like a part of me is missing. Before deleting the blog, I used to re-read some of those posts to know how I was in the past, to remind myself that I was strong, to observe my evolution as a better person and to know where I’m heading in my life. I write diary too. But there is a beauty in the personal blog. You don’t write here daily like a diary. There is no compulsion to write. You can write whenever you feel emotional and whenever you have something to write. With blog, there will only be a few posts that represent years of your life.
I think we all have feeling that a few things should last forever. Our words will be one among those. With blog, our thoughts and words will stay in a tiny corner of the internet. How beautiful that is. I love the people who write their heart out. I love myself when I write. I feel like I’m special when I write. Sometimes you fall into the trap of normalcy of life. In the process of trying to be the best daughter, best sister, best life partner and best friend, you forget to make yourself happy. You forget what makes you happy. You tend to place your happiness in the hands of your loved ones. You look back and realise that you need to learn from your past self. You wonder whether you are the same person. Where did the spark go?
But that’s what life is. Isn’t it? Rising from the ashes and getting trapped in a routine life and igniting the spark again – It’s a circle of life I think. In order to rebuild yourself, you take the help of the things that made you a happier person in the past. For me, it is writing. Writing makes me happy. It keeps me sane. It eases my stress. So, I will write again… for myself.

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